O

oats and barley - Charlie (cocaine)
ocean pearl - girl
oily rag - cigarette (fag)
old pot and pan - old man (father or husband)
Oliver Twist - fist
Oliver Twist - pissed (drunk)
one time looker - hooker
ones and twos - shoes
orchestra stalls - balls (testicles)
oven mitts - tits
Oxford scholar - dollar

P

paper hat - prat
paraffin lamp - tramp
Pat Malone - alone
Patrick Swayze - crazy
Paul Weller - Stella (beer)
pea shooter - hooter (nose)
peanut butter - nutter
pearl diver - skiver
peas in the pot - hot
pen and ink - stink
penny a pound - ground
Percy Thrower - blower (telephone)
Persian rugs - drugs
pie and liquor - vicar
pie and mash - cash
pigs ear - beer
pin pegs - legs
plates of meat - feet
pleasure and pain - rain
pork chop - cop
pork pies - lies
porno mag - slag
posh and becks - sex
pot and pan - old man (father or husband)
potatoes in the mould - cold
push and shove - love

Q

queen mum - bum

R

rabbit and pork - talk
radio rental - mental (crazy)
rainbow trout - Kraut (German)
raspberry ripple - nipple
rat and mouse - house
rats and mice - dice
rhythm and blues - shoes
Richard Burtons - curtains
Richard the Third - bird
Richard the Third - turd
Rob Roy - boy
Robin Hood - good
rock and roll - dole (welfare)
rocking horse - sauce
Rolls-Royce - choice
roman candles - sandals
Rory O'Moore - floor
Rosy Lee - tea
round the houses - trousers
rub-a-dub - pub
rubber glove - love
Ruby Murray - curry
rug rats - brats (children)
rum and coke - joke

S

salmon and trout - snout (cigarette)
Salvador Dali - Charlie (cocaine)
saucepan lid - kid
sausage and mash - cash
sausage roll - dole (welfare)
Scooby Doo - clue
Scotch eggs - legs
Scotch mist - pissed (drunk)
septic tank - yank
sexton blake - cake
sexton blake - fake
sherbet dab - cab (taxi)
silvery spoon - coon
Sinbad the sailor - tailor
skin and blister - sister
sky rocket - pocket
smash and grab - cab
son and daughterd - slaughtered
sooty and sweep - sleep
Spanish Archer - elbow
speckled hen - ten (10 pounds)
spit and a drag - fag (cigarette)
stand at ease - cheese
stoke on trent - bent (criminal)
strawberry tart - heart
struggle and grunt - cunt
sweaty sock - Jock (Scottish person)
Sweeney Todd - flying squad
syrup of figs - wig

T

taters in the mould - cold
tea leaf - thief
tea leafing - thieving
Thomas Moore - whore
three card trick - dick (penis)
three wheel trike - dyke (lesbian)
thrupenny bits - tits (breasts)
tiddly wink - srink
Tilbury Docks - socks
tin bath - laugh
tin lids - kids
tin tack - sack
Toby Jug - mug (fool)
Tom and Dick - sick
trouble and strife - wife
twist and twirl - girl
two and eight - state
two and six - fix

U

uncle Dick - sick
uncle Fester - child molester
uncle Fred - bread
uncle Gus - bus
uncle Ned - bed
uncle Ned - head
uncle Ted - bed
Union Jack - back

V

Vera Lynn - gin
Vera Lynn - skin (cigarette paper)
Vincent Van Gogh - fuck off

W

Wallace and Grommit - vomit
weasel and stoat - coat
weeping willow - pillow
Westminster Abbey - shabby
whistle and flute - suit
widow twanky - hanky
Willy Wonka - plonker
wooly woofter - poofter (homosexual)
wrigley's gum - bum

Y

Yarmouth Bloater - motor
you and me - tea
Yuri Geller - Stella (beer)